Supporting Athletes with Eating Disorders as a Parent
As a parent of an athlete, watching your child pursue their passion can bring immense pride. Yet, when that pursuit turns into a struggle with an eating disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), the journey becomes complicated and challenging. Navigating this mental health landscape can be daunting, confusing and scary. By adopting a Health at Every Size (HAES) perspective, you can support your athlete as they pursue recovery and mental growth.
Health at Every Size (HAES) is a movement that emphasizes that people of all sizes can achieve health and well-being without focusing on weight loss. HAES emphasizes body acceptance, intuitive eating, and joyful movement. For athletes, especially those who may feel pressured to conform to certain body ideals, embracing HAES can shift the focus from weight to health and performance. As a parent, aligning your approach with HAES can be a powerful tool for supporting your child through their struggles.
Emphasize Health Over Weight
One of the foundational principles of HAES is the understanding that health is not synonymous with a specific weight or body size. As a parent, it's essential to steer conversations away from weight-related topics. Some suggestions include:
Monitoring Language: Be cautious in your discussions about food, weight, and appearance, both in how you speak and how you respond to your child’s concerns. Avoid making negative comments about bodies, including your own, and instead, celebrate qualities that are unrelated to appearance—like strength, skill, or determination.
Focusing on Well-Being: Encourage practices that promote overall well-being, such as engaging in plentiful eating habits, getting enough sleep, and participating in enjoyable physical activities. Make these conversations about health and energy levels rather than weight. It is also important to apply this idea to athletics. Rather than emphasizing performance differences with body changes, focus on other metrics for success, such as endurance and conditioning.
Promote Intuitive Eating
Intuitive eating is an approach that encourages individuals to listen to their body's hunger and fullness cues, moving away from restrictive diets and food rules. Diets are notoriously ineffective in the long-term, and can also be dangerous for athletes with specific nutrition demands. You can help your athlete approach intuitive eating by:
Modeling Intuitive Eating: Be a role model for your child by demonstrating a healthy relationship with food. Share meals together, eat a variety of foods, and discuss the importance of listening to your body’s cues.
Creating a Positive Food Environment: Provide access to a variety of foods without labeling them. Foods are amoral - meaning no food is inherently “good” or “bad”. Try to refrain from cutting out entire food groups, unless medically necessary. Encourage your child to trust their appetite and to recognize that all foods can fit into a balanced diet.
Encourage Joyful Movement
Life is too short to move in ways that don’t bring us joy! Physical activity should be about enjoyment and not just about performance or aesthetics. I understand this can be a fine line for athletes. While most can agree it’s hard to find enjoyment in every practice, exercise or set, I’d hope your athlete is able to find joy in their pursuit of the sport. I’d also encourage you to remember that exercise should not be used as a justification for certain foosd. Your athlete (and you!) deserve meals and snacks regardless of physical activity.
Support Diverse Activities: Encourage your child to explore various forms of movement, whether it be dancing, biking, or martial arts, that they find fun and fulfilling. Remind them that physical activity can be pleasurable and does not always have to be competitive. Adding variety is helpful for preventing burnout, and can also be beneficial in preventing overuse injuries.
Participate in Physical Activity Together: Join your child in physical activities where the focus is on enjoyment rather than competition. This can reinforce the idea that movement is about feeling good and improving mental health rather than weight control.
Build a Supportive Environment
Creating a nurturing environment can significantly impact how your athlete navigates their challenges, on and off the field. Foster a family atmosphere where your child feels safe sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement. Validate their experiences and emotions, understanding that their perspective is crucial. Increase your knowledge about eating disorders and OCD, and involve the entire family in understanding HAES principles. This can help everyone in the family understand how their actions and language can affect your child, as well-meaning comments and suggestions often inadvertently cause harm.
Seek Professional Help
Navigating an eating disorder or OCD is complex and often requires professional intervention. I’d highly recommend connecting your child to a treatment team, and I’d also encourage you to seek professional help for yourself! Helping your child navigate an eating disorder can be extremely distressing. You don’t have to go through this alone, and seeking help destigmatizes therapy. Try seeking therapists, dietitians, and doctors who align with the HAES philosophy. Ensure their approach supports your child's mental health and self-acceptance.
Foster Self-Compassion and Resilience
Building self-compassion is essential for any young person struggling with eating disorders and OCD. Athletes are often celebrated for their mental toughness, discipline and grit. While these qualities are essential in sports, athletes often internalize the belief that vulnerability is weak. Encourage your child to be kind to themselves and recognize that everyone struggles at different points in their lives. Introduce mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or journaling, which can help promote a kind and accepting mindset. Acknowledge their efforts and progress, however small. Making the focus on what they have achieved rather than what they haven't can become a powerful motivator and build their confidence.
The journey through recovery from an eating disorder or OCD is often non-linear and filled with ups and downs. Try showing patience by Understand that healing takes time and that there may be setbacks along the way. Your patience and unconditional love are invaluable during this challenging process. Continue to be actively involved in your child's life. Showing interest in their activities—without focusing solely on their athletic performance—can reinforce your support and love.
In Conclusion
As a parent of an athlete struggling with eating disorders and OCD, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed and uncertain about how to help. By embracing a HAES perspective, you can offer your child a supportive framework that emphasizes health, self-acceptance, and joyful living.
Remember that your love, understanding, and support are crucial as they navigate their recovery. Equip yourself with knowledge, cultivate open communication, and prioritize their mental well-being. By doing so, you not only empower them to heal but also foster a deeper, more resilient bond between you and your athlete.
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Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison
Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch
The Eating Instinct: Food Culture, Body Image and Guilt in America by Virginia Sole-Smith
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